A weekly dose of chuckles to end the week
A nervous flyer was airborne when the cabin lights started to flicker. He mentioned it to a flight attendant, who said, “I’ll take care of it.” Moments later, the lights went out completely. Clearly she’d solved the problem by turning off the lights. The passenger beside him leaned over and said, “Whatever you do, please don’t ask about the engines!”
The visiting minister passed the hat through the church congregation, but it came back to him empty. The minister slowly inverted the hat, shook it, and then raised his eyes heavenward. “Thank you, dear Lord, for returning my hat from this congregation!”
A businessman walked into another businessman’s office and found him looking sad. “What’s wrong, Bob?” he asked. “Oh, it’s my wife. She hired me a new secretary.” “So? Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither. He’s bald!”
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
A man driving down a country road hit a rooster, which disappeared under his car in a cloud of feathers. He did the right thing: he pulled into the nearest farmhouse and confessed. “I think I killed your rooster. I’d like to replace him.” The farmer looked surprised. “Suit yourself. The hens are ’round back.”
Aggressive Retirement 