Stolen from around the web
Two blondes were waiting at a bus shelter. When the bus came, one leaned in and asked the driver, “Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?” The driver shook his head. “No, ma’am. I’m sorry.” Then the other blonde leaned in and asked, “Will it take me there?”
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which comes from a tree, which is a plant. Therefore, chocolate is salad!
If history truly repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!
Judy called the police station. “I want to report a missing person.” The officer asked, “Who?” “My husband.” “How long has he been gone?” “Oh, about a month.” “What? Why did you wait so long to report it?” “Well, until the grass grew so tall, I thought it was just a dream!”