Stolen from around the web
I’ve always thought “getting lucky” was drinking my coffee without anyone talking to me.
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
A blonde handed the office manager her job application. He scanned it quickly and said, “Excuse me, but you say your birthday is October 24. Which year?” She looked puzzled. “Why, every year!”
I just renewed my subscription to “A, The, An” magazine. I swear I only read it for the articles.
A book just fell on my head. I have only my shelf to blame.