Stolen from around the web
My New Year’s resolution for 2022 was to lose ten pounds. Only fifteen to go!
When you can’t remember a word, say “I forget the English word for that.” Then people will think you’re bilingual instead of just dumb.
In these days, a man who says a thing cannot be done is quite apt to be interrupted by some idiot doing it. – Elbert Hubbard
Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes. – Elbert Hubbard
Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.