Stolen from the web
Did you notice there are few Hallmark movies set in the South? Unexpected snow isn’t magical there – it is terrifying and leads to riots at the Piggly Wiggly.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, I just make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
What do you call a teenager who won’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Our children had fun setting up and rearranging the manger scene. But when they went to bed, I noticed, behind the cattle, an action figure in a suit of armor with his sword uplifted and a sliver of duct tape over his mouth. The next morning, I casually asked my young son about it. In a quiet voice, he told me, “I put him there to guard baby Jesus. He’s in the Christmas story.” “How was he in the story?” “Oh, Dad. Don’t you know? He’s the Silent Knight.”
Father to teenage son: “Hey what would you like for Christmas?” Son’s reply: “Um…Santa’s list of naughty girls?”
Aggressive Retirement 