Stolen from around the web
75% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
I hate it when people ask me what I did yesterday…I don’t know, I breathed a lot, probably got angry with someone…sighed heavily. The list goes on.
Why do professional athletes think I should care about what they think? If I wanted advice from someone who chases a ball, I’d ask my dog.
I started a new workout routine, doing crunches twice a day. In the morning, I do Cap’n and in the afternoon, I do Nestle’s!
Aggressive Retirement 