Stolen from around the web
When I see ads on TV with a happy, smiling housewife using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds she is on.
I hate it when I go to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get…well, you know…Double Stuffed Oreos.
Me, sobbing, “I can’t see you anymore. I won’t let you hurt me again!” Trainer, “That was one sit-up. You only did one sit-up!”
I’ve made it to the age where I can’t remember if I just took the ibuprofen or I still need to.
Every C in the phrase ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.