Stolen from around the web
Whenever you feel your job is useless, remember this: somebody installs turn signals in BMWs!
My therapist says I’m a narcissist. A great, important, and very special narcissist!
Yesterday, the boss told me, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” But today, when I showed up in my Ghostbusters costume, she fired me!
“Mom, am I wearing too much make-up?” “It depends. Are you planning to kill Batman?”
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people …but none of them work.
Aggressive Retirement 