Phriday Phunnies

A weekly dose of chuckles to end the week.

“Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night! I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, and all dancing in a row.” His psychiatrist said, “That doesn’t sound so bad.” “Oh, yeah? I was the third girl from the left!”

 The Queen was showing the Archbishop around the royal stables one stallion farted loudly. “Oh, dear,” said the Queen to the Archbishop. “I’m so sorry about that.” The Archbishop replied, “It’s quite understandable. As a matter of fact, I thought it was the horse!” 

Recently, when Nigeria was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of every fan who traveled to Brazil. All he asked for was their bank account information to complete the transaction!

A guy sat down at the bar and told the barman, “Gimme a Less.” “I’m sorry, sir, but I’ve never heard of that one before. Is it a spirit?” “I dunno,” replied the man. “Last week my doctor told me that I should drink Less.”

Little Johnny insisted his mother pin a red bath towel to his T-shirt so, in his imagination, he could become Superman. His summer vacation was full of adventure and daring. When fall came, Little Johnny started kindergarten. His teacher asked his name. “I’m Superman,” he answered. The teacher smiled and looked at Little Johnny’s mother. “Your real name, please.” Again, Little Johnny answered, “Superman.” Realizing the situation required a little more authority, the teacher used her sternest voice. “I must have your real name for my records.” Little Johnny carefully looked around, leaned in, and quietly said, “Clark Kent!”

Published by barnberry

Well over aged 60 (well, OK, a lot more than that...) father of one outstanding young woman, unworthy husband of the most patient and talented woman in the world, retired small business owner, lover of all the wrong foods, political junkie and resident of NH. A conservative with a libertarian streak, and a thoughtful, impish, dedicated curmudgeon.

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