Stolen from around the web
The waiter asked me how I found my steak. I told him, “Accidentally! I just moved the tomato slice, and there it was.”
The waiter said, “These are the best eggs we’ve had for years.” I told him to bring some that hadn’t been around that long.
I asked for a cup of coffee with no cream. The Waiter said they were out of cream. How about no milk?
I told the waiter he had his thumb in my soup. He told me not to worry, because it wasn’t hot.
I love chocolate but it makes my clothes shrink.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us must be “the others.”
If I got 50 cents for every math exam I failed, I’d have $6.30 now.
Aggressive Retirement 