Stolen from around the web

I asked the librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cats. She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.
For years, John wanted a boat but frugality won out …until the day he read the obituary of his high-school buddy, Ted. “Life is short,” thought John, and that day bought his boat. The next day, another classmate phoned. “Sad, wasn’t it? You know: Ted’s boating accident.”
“Did you behave yourself in church today, Little Suzi?” “Yes, Mommy. A nice man offered me a plate full of money and I said, ‘No, thank you’!”
There are three kinds of service: good, cheap and fast — but you can only have two because good cheap service isn’t fast; good fast service isn’t cheap; and fast cheap service isn’t good!
Today’s work from home tip: Blowing on the wine in the mug will convince your zoom meeting that your tea is hot.